Yo this is ~Clueless313. I'm like Llama's bestest friend so she said it's cool and I could jack her account real quick so I could post this wallpaper thingie I made with one of her drawings

[link]

You know. I HAD SO MUCH MOTIVATION TO DO STUFF

c:

[link] I don't know if this'll show up or you have to like the page (you better like it ), but here's something I'm working on. Not too exciting for most because it's my OC but... It's art :\ Anyhoo. Night all. XD

I love you all.

What's art? I don't know anymore. I don't remember. It's been so long.

Hello, everyone. Perhaps you've wondered where I've gone, or perhaps I'm just another person you add to your dA Watch, as I do, and forget about them completely. Either way, to let you know how it's been going...

If you couldn't figure it out by my last post, I am not doing so well. I have no money or job or basically anything and I'm going through some hard depression. Guess that's what happens when you fuck up your life and no one will stop nagging you about it. Leaves you vulnerable.

I'm hurting bad because of Taylor too. She hates me, obviously. But the fact she cared for her friend Kennedy more than me hurts bad. Or anything she's done, really, has hurt me.

Anyway... art...

No. I don't do commissions. Never again. When will I post art? I don't know. I may never post again. This is a time in my life where I can't even imagine doing anything except lay in bed and either sob or watch Netflix. If I post, the art may be sloppy, because honest to God I've forgotten how to draw. But if I do, just be warned.

I'm sorry I've been so horrible. I can't keep promises worth shit and I certainly don't have the strength in me to apologize to each and every one of you individually. But I'm telling you now I'm sorry. I wanted to be a part of the whole Brony thing so bad. And then when my life basically ended, I lost touch with reality and myself. I can't even get out of bed without guilt washing over me, forcing me back into bed. I'm on my computer to tell you this, but it's hard to type. Like, really hard. But I figured I'd have to be honest with you all at some point.

I love you all. I really do. The amount of love I receive from you is astonishing. But I'm so tired. I'm honestly too tired to carry on right now with all this art. I miss it. I do. I thought I could make it to 1000 watchers, but I guess I lied to myself. I don't know if I have the motivation to ever get that far.

Looks like Taylor's getting her dream. She'll be famous before me. I'm just a loser. I was born to be a failure.



-Llamas

Just shoot me now.


~Llamas

[link] Here ya go! It was a fun one, guys. The Cloudsdale Cafe is an awesome group of dudes and I think you guys should support them I had a lot of fun being on the show Saturday. Anyway, watch and enjoy

[link] Starting soon

It's like 25 degrees F outside right now. FINALLY. It was like 0 degrees F all week xD Hi guys, how's everyone doing? Just got around to replying from last time I asked that xD Hope everyone is doing well.

Today I have a phone interview with a job in another state. If all goes well, I may not be able to post much art from May until September but I heard Teton employees have access to limited internet so we shall see how that goes

Anyway..... viva la ponies and all that good stuff c:



-Llamas

On Bigenderism:

Many of you may not know, but I am bigendered. I have two personalities, one a male and one a female. Of course I am female body-wise, but with bigenderism being a type of transgenderism, I often switch myself either on purpose or naturally to my male counterpart (whom which I  call Caine instead of Court/Courtney). Today it's been switching back and forth, back and forth. Over and over again. Probably because I'm having bad bipolar swings (I am also bipolar if you didn't know that) but my male side comes out in tough situations when I don't feel like I can handle whatever is happening very well. But today it's been so crazy that I'm getting a horrid headache. Pff. I mean, jesus, so much has happened lately. It's no wonder I'm trying to escape it.

On Art:
Lots of sketches for the Brony Show Tumblr, Mogul Dash, and just art in general.

On Life:

Doing fine. But tomorrow I see my psychiatrist again. I need to talk to him about what I feel like. I have issues reading emotions on others or laughing (and it's not depression). I don't usually find things funny and I'm so introverted that I can't hardly look people in the eyes. I hate being touched and since the accident, my mom constantly wants to hug me and I absolutely hate it and freak out each time, which only makes her upset. But I really don't like being touched. Beh. I don't know if it's just because I'm introverted or if I have something else up in my dysfunctional brain haha.

On Smoking:
TRYING TO QUIT, GUYS. TRYING. God it's hard. xD;

On Tegan and Sara's New Album:
Do I even have to say how much I love it?

Overall:
YOLO. LOL Just kidding. No. No YOLO. D< I may be working in Wyoming this coming summer so I have no idea if I will have internet access because I will be at Teton National Park. I am trying to get by, but there's a lot of stuff going on. If my art is even MORE slow than normal coming out, then I am sorry. Just trying to get everything straightened out in my life.


Finally:
Don't forget to like my Facebook page, found here ---> [link]
and follow me on Twitter, found here ---> [link]
Annnnnd add me on Steam to play some games sometimes ---> [link]


Have a good one, everyone! I am not gonna sleep tonight. It's 3:15. I am just going to stay up and watch the sun rise up high.

Hi. How are you all today? c:

Don't forget to like my Facebook Page ---> [link] I really want to get that page up and running.

While you're at it, head over to my Twitter and follow me there --> [link] I post quite a bit on there with news and artsy stuffff. And general human social networking things like I have to shower or something like that

Also, if you didn't hear or weren't at the show, The Brony Show and I are now partners and I will be running the Tumblr blog right here --> [link] This is where we answer all your questions in regard to The Brony Show. Please follow the blog and don't forget to ask questions if you have any!

What else, what else... OH I was making a little piece of art today and accidentally merged the line art with the color layer SO it's basically pointless to keep going with it. Just means I'll have to reline and recolor it ALL OVER AGAIN. Fwah. Well I'll be releasing it on Feb 16th, the day of the finale, anyway to avoid giving out spoilers for anyone around who doesn't know bird is the word (oh my god did I just say that?)

Let's see... My day has been decent today as well. But DAMN am I tired. My new medication is whooping my butt along with the flu. Two things that shouldn't go together XD But I think I'll be fine in a few days. Which is why the Tumblr page looks pretty boring right now. I've been basically sleeping all day except for going to a friend's house for a little while and running to the store and the pizza place (That was some gooooood pizza)

So anyway~ Remember to like the FB page, follow me on Twitter for all your newsy things, and hit that follow button on Tumblr as well as the ask button!

Okay Llamas is ready to hit the hay (or at least play on Steam for a bit hahah XD) so I will talk to you all later!

Which reminds me

If you ever want to play Steam games with me, my name is llamaswithkatanas so hit me up on there!

Goodnight everyone

-Llamas

[link] Come join us!

I MAY have to redraw the mane six in my new style. Just sayin'. I think it would be sweet. c:

Zecoraaaa So go check it out, comment even~ Fav if you want c:
And dont forget to share this with friends! It helps me so much  ; w;





Also don't forget to like my Facebook page. YES I AM PUSHING THIS. XD ---> [link]


Love you guys!

-Llamas

First, Llamas has the flu, yuck. xD
Second, still need people to like my Facebook page! Here's that ---> [link]
Third, on Twitter it's Follow Friday so let's just make it Follow Friday on dA as well.
Go watch and witness the cute human art. She did one of Cherri for me c: She's a good friend so gogogogogogo and support her. c:

Llamas is going to chill here with water and tea and sleep now. Night all!

-Llamas

[link] Here ya go If you like my art, please feel free to like this page on Facebook. I just reactivated my account so I could post artsy things on there too hehe. Okay anyhoo, likes are appreciated

Also I really want to draw but I left my tablet cord at my friend's house booooo ; w;

I wanna try drawing Discord. WISH ME LUCK (when I get around to it XD )